One of my best friends from home, Kendall, visited me at school in Boston this past weekend and it really had me start to think about the evolution of our friendship from high school to college.
Throughout childhood, middle school, and high school, friendships are remotely easy. Most of your friends live close by, you have a car, and it’s a short drive to catch up with your friends. Not to mention you probably go to school with your best friends and have already seen them for hours throughout the day.
Growing up, you have a pretty set life, or at least I did. In the mornings, I would have swim practice and then go to school, have club meetings, go to a friend’s house, and then eventually go home. At school, I saw a lot of close friends ranging from different grades. On weekends, I would take the time to see friends that didn’t go to my high school. Even if schedules didn’t line up, I would be able to text them whenever and expect that they would answer quickly. Life was pretty easy and moved with fluidity.
College takes those habits and expectations, and completely flips them over. As much as you want to try and stay in constant contact with your friends, it’s undeniable that you won’t talk to these people as much. With different schedules in different time zones, it’s hard to keep in touch. But if you’re lucky, you’ll talk to your friends at least a couple of times a semester.
I think the weirdest part about all of this is that no one told me that friendships were going to change so drastically. Maybe it’s not the friendships that are changing, but it’s how we go about them. There is all of a sudden this element of trust and effort that wasn’t necessarily there before. Not that I didn’t trust my friends or put effort into my relationships with my friends growing up, but I could rely on the fact that I would see them all the time to keep our friendship going. Although we are all now at different schools, I try my best to stay updated on my friends’ lives and I hope nothing but the best for them.
In college, you might have those friends that you make in classes, but then once that class is over, you never see them again. The only way to ensure that friendship is to put effort into seeing and talking to those people or else you risk losing them (unless you go to a small school and see people all the time or you have extracurriculars with them).
The week leading up to my friend’s visit. I called my mom just to catch up and brought up the fact that Kendall was coming to Boston. She was shocked because she didn’t even know. This made me realize two things: how my parents pretty much knew everything about my whereabouts while at home and how I’m now entering the world of keeping friendships as an adult. Especially with hopes to stay in Boston for the summer, I have to keep up with my friends to make sure I’m up to date with whatever I’m missing at home and I have to come to realize that it’ll be an even longer distance of time before I see some of my closest friends. However, I trust that they’ll still welcome me back at home with open arms when I come back to visit.
Overall, I guess what I’m trying to say is that this is a weird transition time for friendships. Your friendships with people might change and you will find many new companions in life. Make good memories with the people who surround you right now and keep them close, because you might not see them again for at least a couple of months. Finally, make sure that the people close to you know how much you value their friendship, because I personally don’t think appreciative words are said enough.
-Thanks for livin’ life with Annie